My fall 2014 issue of the Lupus Now magazine came in the mail this week. If you’re a Lupus patient/caregiver, I highly recommend subscribing. It’s an informative and reassuring read.
One piece that stuck out to me was Parenting and Back to School by Farah Jasmine, blogger over at High Heels and Training Wheels. Farah wrote about her tendency to overcommit to multiple volunteer opportunities at her kids’ schools and thus worsen her health. She concludes:
This fall, I’m going to be the parent my kids deserve. One who takes better care of herself so she can take better care of them.
One line in the article I liked so much I had the urge to circle with a thick red marker then stencil it on a wall somewhere:
The memories I make outside of the home mean I won’t have the energy to make memories inside my home.
Now, to me, this is not to be taken literally – I love gentle travel, day trips and other activities outside of the physical structure of my house. In this sentence I read “home” to mean the important things, the things you actually want to do instead of things you feel obligated to do, the things that are worth getting tired and sore over.
The wisdom here is that you have to pick and choose, prioritize, and learn to pass on many invitations and requests. That takes a certain kind of toughness, to accept that you are limited, to pick one thing over another, and then not feel horribly guilty over it. (And of course a certain amount of grace, to say “no” but not hurt feelings!) But it’s necessary. And worth it. So let’s all of us learn.