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Add to my list of chronic illness “How do I….?” questions


The Lupus Foundation, in all its wisdom, has a great page on its website entitled, “How do I explain Lupus to others?” Now this is something I really appreciate. It’s gives practical advice to a question many of us have fussed over in our heads. Figuring out what to say to common questions ahead of time allows you to say nothing more, nothing less than you’d like. In my little book, I call them “Talking Points” because that’s what the Press Secretaries called them when I worked on Capitol Hill.  As in, “Get me a copy of the Senator’s talking points on Afghanistan!”

Here’s some particularly troublesome questions I’ve been unprepared for over the years:

  • How do I tell my boss I can’t come in today because I have 12 Lupus lesions on my lady parts – and NO they are not from an STD!
  • How do I extricate myself from a conversation with a person denouncing “people who are on Disability but still manage to have hobbies”?
  • How do I tell my partner, without being mean and martyred, that unlike him I do not announce all the pain I feel, and contrary to him, I actually get quieter as the pain gets worse? (Love you babe!)

Now, I want to hear your troublesome questions. I’m sure everyone has some really interesting/funny ones unique to their own chronic illness experiences. Join me and reply in the comment boxes below!


2 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. SO true. Any kind of an honest answer would leave people disturbed for sure. Yet most of the time, I just can’t say the socially acceptable lie, “Good, thanks!” It just won’t come out of my mouth.

    The times I’ve responded to “How are you?” with something like, “Good morning!” my dad is the only one who sees through it, which, in the end, I really love him for.



  2. How do I answer the all too common greeting, “How are you?” without screaming that I hurt, I feel angry, I hate my body…blah blah blah…I want to verbally vomit all over the person who dare ask me, “How are you?” 😔



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